Oh my love, oh my dear one. What can I say except that I feel the exact same way? At first I thought that it was because I woke up really late this afternoon and that it was just something brought on by lingering tiredness throughout the day, but now I know that its because I feel the exact same way. How else can I describe it but by how you have already said? It's as if by writing your own feelings that you've alsoread my heart and soul as well, and before I even knew what it was I was feeling. How similar are we, in our longings for one another, and in the feelings of our souls.
And why? Why do I feel this way, in that it's as if the impact, the feelings of the first time I had been with you for so long, had never happened? It already seems so long since, even though it was only three days ago. I long for you so much. I just wish you could be here with me, that you could be here, and that we wouldn't have to worry about the fact that it's 12:43 at night, or worry about getting up early to go anywhere in the morning, like that doctor's appointmate taht I have at 10:45 tommorow. I wish we wouldn't have to worry about getting a good night's sleep for the next day or schedualing a time that we could get together or have to work around anything or worry about anything that would come up and make it so that we couldn;'t get together. I just wish that you could be here with me and that we could just lay in each others arms together and fall asleep and not have to worry about the fact that I am male and that you are female. I wish that we could just lay in each other's arms and fall asleep, just sleep and not have to worry about anything. I am tired, I am weary, I long to be with you. I long to just curl up with you and just lay there, happy and content and peaceful with you.
It is not selfish of you dear one. Not selfish of you at all to want to be with me, as I want to be with you. And how I so want to be with you, right now. I long to be there, for you to cry on, for you to just be able to spill out your feelings; your pain, your loneliness, your anger, your frustration, your sadness, everything. Everything that weighs so heavily on your heart that you try to push out of your mind because it hurts so, so much. Everything that makes you harden your heart and try not to think of things, try to not let them affect you, try to rationalize it down into somtething so small that it appears as such and it doesn't hurt any longer. Oh dear one, I long to be with you and comfot you, to lift your saddness, to fill the gaping hole of your longing, to ease your pain with love, peace and contentment. I long to be with you so much. I so long to hug you tight and hold you close, to fill these holes that have sprung up so suddenly but so hurtfully in our souls with the wholeness of each other's presence and warmth.

Is it so selfish of me, to just wish that the two of us could be alone together, by ourselves and not have to worry about anything else? I understand that things need to be done that are unavoidable in both of our cases; the world can't just stop because we want it to. I understand that you are female and that I am male and that it is easy to "get lost in the moment" and such and that can things can then happen during that time, and it only takes a split second, which could have huge consequences for the rest of our lives. I understand that perfectly well. I personally know from other people's experiances what can then happen and how much regret and consequences it has. I am one of those rare, (nowadays), males that is not just after the sexual reproductive organs of a female but is instead only desiring love and companionship. Still, I understand that not everyone knows me in the same way that you or I or Mom or other people know myself, and that's okay. I understand that I am first and foremost a male to some peoplebecause of what males are capable of, and that's okay, but how I wish to be known as who I am instead of what gender I am first. I understand that there are things that need to be done, that work must come before play at times and that one should get done what one has to do. I know this, and that's okay too. I'm flexible. I'm willling to work around things. But at the same time, is it selfish of me to just wish that I didn't have to worry about all of this, if for just a moment? Just as a fleeting thought, a fleeting wish? And that I wouldn't have to worry about possilby incriminating mysef for even just wishing this or writing that I am wishing this? I am a teenager, a seventeen year old male. I am in no means an adult, and I know that I have still a ways to go before I am fully mature. I know that, as a teenager, there is a lot in life that I do not know, that there is a lot in life that I have not yet come to understand. I know that it is very hard, haveing a daughter, and God knows how hard it is when she first gets a boyfriend. I understand this. I know that there are times when, one just has to wait for other things to be finished first. That;s the way it goes, and I understand this too. I understand that, even though I say I understand, that I will never truly know what is like to understand until I experiance any of these things first hand, and for this it has been said that I'm pretty mature for the typical teenager, in that I know this, and that may be true, I don't know, and it doesn't really matter to me. I am who I am. But in a lot of ways, I am still a child.

But is it so selfish of me to wish that just for once, that I didn't have to worry about all of these things and that I could just fall alseep with you and just sleep, and wake up the next morning to find you there? I just long to be with you dear one. So, so much. Anytime, anytime at all that is spent with you, whether it is just a brief phone call or an entire day spent in your arms, is wonderful. I would wait for any length of time just for a glimpse of you, a sound of your voice, a soft catching of your scent on the air, a quick brush of your touch, any sign of you. Oh dear one I miss you so.

Ugh, but I don't know. I don't even know why I wrote some of this, specifically the part about me understanding stuff. I don't even know if that was even necessary. Maybe I should have just put this in a note instead of a comment for the whole world to see, I don't know. I'm just writing. Maybe because it's two in the morning, and I'm really tired right now, I don't knnow. All I know is that I love you dear one, I love you and I long to be with you, but that through no fault of our own, we're going to have to try to work around some stuff if we are going to get together. Oh dear one, we might be able to get togehter for supper after six tommorow, Mom suggested, and that would be wonderful. If not, maybethe next day. I am tired, and I so wish that I could just curl up next to you andfall asleep. I hope you are sleeping better tonight then last night, and that tommorow will be a brighter day. Until then, goodnight my kitten, my dear, my love.

*Smiles* You have a way with words. I'm sure she appreciates that very much. I wish happiness for the both of you.

--
The worst enemies are the ones on your side.

I can teel you wrote that quickly, there are so many mistakes in your spellngs,

but none, I think, in what you say.

Somehow, I can't think of anything more to say, though my lips form into a smile, and my eyes close to hold back the small tear. It's passed now, and I can hear you saying the words above.

I'm so glad that you chose to write it like this, It luled me into a false since of the comment being short, when in reality . . . well, it more that wonderful to hear. This is something I will come back to again and again, for, as the first was from my heart, this was from yours. I smile, and as my fingertips brush the keys of the laptop, I just wish I could run it through your soft hair, brushing the bangs from your beutiful eyes. But I can wait untill six, though I wish with almost all my heart that I will be able to spend more then a few hours with you.

But I could live on only a minute, if it were one with you.

--
yuri; my antidrug
yaoi; my passion

I eat to live, you live to be eaten.
yes, I am a demon.

Thank you, it is

--
yuri; my antidrug
yaoi; my passion

I eat to live, you live to be eaten.
yes, I am a demon.

This all warms me down to me
s to both of you!!!!
ah, such a beutiful thing...

--
read deep into my poems
as you would into a lovers eyes
follow the lines of my drawings
as you would a dancers hip
look into my photography
as you would through new eyes
capture the world
through my soul

s all around,

thanks,

--
yuri; my antidrug
yaoi; my passion

I eat to live, you live to be eaten.
yes, I am a demon.